Friday, March 26, 2010


I had an ultrasound yesterday. Baby is measuring 4 days ahead, 8w5d instead of 8w1d. HB is solid at 164. It's finally started connecting in my head that this pregnancy is going great (the baby part, anyway) and this time we're actually going to have a baby. A real baby. After so long it doesn't feel real, as it probably doesn't for everyone in these early stages, but for me it's just a miracle every time I see that little heart thump thumping along, perfectly healthy. My miracle. I don't know whether it was the Clomid, or the Progesterone, or just luck, but now we've made it past both of the previous loss dates and everything is fine. Better than fine. If anything baby needs to slow the growing down so he/she isn't humongous. I'm considering whether to go to one of the commercial ultrasound companies so I can get a video of the baby, since my practice can't for insurance reasons. It's $90, and I could send it to David too. It might just be worth it. I'm thinking in another few weeks, about 12. I still can't believe it.

I'm still feeling awful, but I managed to get an appointment with my pain doctor (for 0645, grrr). He prescribed me a patch that goes behind my ear for nausea (because I need more anti-emetics) and Stadol nose spray, at my dad's suggestion. The doctor didn't look incredibly enthused about it, but what am I supposed to do? Oral medication isn't reliable, because my delayed gastric emptying slows the absorption rate even when I do manage to keep the meds down.

If we can't find a way to manage my pain we're going to be looking at what amounts to a feeding tube, because I've already lost weight, and I can't imagine that won't continue if the vomiting does. And the only way to control the vomiting is to control the pain. I took a whiff of Stadol just now. My nose feels tingly. Let's hope that will translate into pain relief.

I'll do whatever I have to do for the welfare of my baby, just like (I hope) any mom would. But I'd really prefer to be able to eat.


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