Good day!

I had an amazingly good day today. I was able to go to Wal-Mart and WALK my shopping. I went to Best Buy, BabiesRUs, Auto Zone, and the car wash too. And I've been able to do laundry and trash. Big steps closer to being able to leave. I have a last minute appointment with my pain doc on Friday and with luck I can leave afterwards. I should have plenty of time to get ready tomorrow.

In baby news, my belly feels huge but it doesn't look as big as it feels. I can definitely feel Hunter move. I'm going to have to get used to using a name instead of "the baby." I don't know how anyone mistakes this for anything other than baby movement, because the feeling is entirely distinct. I bought a belly support band thingy today though, on the off chance it might help one of the aches I have. Everything feels big and uncomfortable though. I can still sleep without inconvenience though, by which I mean my half side/stomach position has been working. Don't worry, I know the huge is still to come. My friend Hedy is all baby belly and she looks humongous. She's less than a month from delivery, so there's still some time for that to come, but who knew a baby would take up so much room? I'm ready for it to be over now, so I can go to Cleveland. Maybe with luck I'll have another good summer. I could appreciate that very a lot (she put out to any stray gods paying attention). But whenever I get optimistic I have another bad day and the dream is deflated. Still, close now. Every day is one day closer.

Oh, and Hunter is breech, which means nothing at this point. I am curious though, as I was breech and had to be turned and both my mom and my uncle were breech, so there seems to be some sort of a family trend. Plenty of time to turn still, although if he doesn't much better that we're planning a c-section because we know we need one than suffer through hours of labor and need one then.

It's a boy!

And apparently it's really obvious. There was no doubt there, and I asked.

I hate thinking up titles

I weigh 157! That means I've gained 4lbs, though I have about a 5lb fluctuation, so I guess I'll have to hope it's a trend. Baby is getting bigger! I've had the inkling that I was going to pop soon for a little while now, I just didn't know if I was interpreting how I felt correctly. But I was right, my uterus is huge and the baby definitely shows now. I can feel movement sometime too. It's pretty cool.

I have been extra nauseous lately. I don't know what's up with that. And it lasts all day. I'm cautious about eating because I have no idea what will stay down. Last night I threw up all liquids, so everything is game. It can stop any time now.

I'm several steps closer to being able to leave. I have several calls that still need to be made (or I left a message). I'm slowly collecting everything that will be packed. Very slowly. I'm doing the bare minimum possible to get out of here. Everything is pretty much going to stay the way it is, for better or worse, dirty or clean. Anything that would cause problems by being left to sit will be dealt with, but nothing else is important enough to fret over. I can sweep my floors when I get back. If I was capable of doing it now I wouldn't have to move in the first place. And I'm packing the bare minimum. Anything that can be replaced in Illinois will be. I'm not going to bother bringing it. Not worth worrying over. This is roughly the equivalent of packing your car while fleeing a volcano. Luckily enough my stuff will be here when I get back. At this point I need to pack clothes for David, empty the fridge and the pantry of everything perishable, and get the trash out, which means collecting it from various trash cans and surfaces. And then packing the car, once I hear from Marla, one way or another, and hitting the road. Could be any time then. I've only been saying that for weeks, I hope it's soon now.

Growing Pains

There's definitely something in my belly. And contrary to how I feel when I'm naked and lying down, when I'm wearing a form fitting shirt you can definitely tell. I guess I should take a picture. I'll have someone do that when I get to Illinois.

Registry

What is up with the BabiesRUs Registry? Whenever I try to register it tells me the registry is unavailable. And last time I was in the store it was down there too. But I called customer service and they didn't seem to know anything about a problem.

In other news I am BORED. My belly feels really bloated now. The days have been getting progressively better, but it was less than a week ago that I had a really bad day out of the blue, so I can't count on anything. I just need to know about the pets! As soon as those arrangements are in place I am out of here! Give me two days! I'm hungry and I'm out of milk. That's all I've really been wanting. Except that I'm also hungry, and nothing sounds appetizing. Light, gourmet-ish food. Which would be FINE if I could cook. Ugh. Maybe I can make a trip to the 7-11. Do they sell milk there?

Vroom

I went to Karen's today! This is extremely exciting, I usually am not up for going anywhere. I'm still not able to go shopping or do much around the house. It still hurts like hell. It just doesn't hurt when I don't move around, and if I can make it to the car I can generally manage to get through the pain of getting where I can sit again. It's harder with things like watering the garden. I have to mess with the hose (which is heavy) and walk and then STAND. And it doesn't just hurt on my right side, although that's the worst of it, but my left side hurts sometimes, and so does my lower abdomen. Something is always bound to be hurting. If only it weren't so damn SHARP!

I want to move home with my parents. The unfortunate part of that decision is that I'm probably going to have to give away our cats. There just isn't anyone to take care of four cats and paying someone would bankrupt us. I know well enough to choose my health and the baby over my pets, but that doesn't make it any easier. I'm going to cry a lot over it. But ultimately, with my pain continuing, I need to be looked after and I can't have that alone in Colorado. And when the baby comes I need to be sure that I have the help I need because I will still be in pain after the baby is born and I have no idea how much I'll be able to do for myself. If the status quo remains I just can't stay here. It's gonna be really hard though. To give them away knowing that I won't be coming home to them. It hurts. And it's not fair. I have no idea whether I could manage them all, and the house, if I was healthy. But the point is that I'm not, and you have to deal with the hand you're dealt.

As far as I know the baby is fine. The soonest appointments available aren't for more than two weeks out, so it will be a little while before I have any news, but chances are that news will include gender!

I hurt. I'm signing off.

Most Recent Appointment

Heard the heartbeat again! That was about the entirety of the appointment. I've lost even more weight. I was hoping that I would have at least have stayed even, and I was really hoping that I would gain the weight back that I lost while I was in Florida. I mean, I didn't walk, we rented a wheelchair, and I ate as much as I could. And I still lost weight. And I haven't been able to keep anything down today, and next to nothing yesterday. Everything I've tried to eat or drink has come back up. It makes me thankful for my lactated ringers, because otherwise I would get completely dehydrated.

I had to go to the ER today. They "stabilized" me, but before I even got home my back had started hurting again and I threw up as soon as I walked in the door. Grrr. I just want to feel decent all the time, like everyone else.

The appointment to determine the baby's gender will be in 4 weeks, although I may go in to that private clinic earlier than that. They say I can come in as early as 18 weeks, which is a little earlier than 4 weeks, and David and the rest of the family could watch the ultrasound with me.

It's time to go back to sleep.