Monday, May 24, 2010


I went to Karen's today! This is extremely exciting, I usually am not up for going anywhere. I'm still not able to go shopping or do much around the house. It still hurts like hell. It just doesn't hurt when I don't move around, and if I can make it to the car I can generally manage to get through the pain of getting where I can sit again. It's harder with things like watering the garden. I have to mess with the hose (which is heavy) and walk and then STAND. And it doesn't just hurt on my right side, although that's the worst of it, but my left side hurts sometimes, and so does my lower abdomen. Something is always bound to be hurting. If only it weren't so damn SHARP!

I want to move home with my parents. The unfortunate part of that decision is that I'm probably going to have to give away our cats. There just isn't anyone to take care of four cats and paying someone would bankrupt us. I know well enough to choose my health and the baby over my pets, but that doesn't make it any easier. I'm going to cry a lot over it. But ultimately, with my pain continuing, I need to be looked after and I can't have that alone in Colorado. And when the baby comes I need to be sure that I have the help I need because I will still be in pain after the baby is born and I have no idea how much I'll be able to do for myself. If the status quo remains I just can't stay here. It's gonna be really hard though. To give them away knowing that I won't be coming home to them. It hurts. And it's not fair. I have no idea whether I could manage them all, and the house, if I was healthy. But the point is that I'm not, and you have to deal with the hand you're dealt.

As far as I know the baby is fine. The soonest appointments available aren't for more than two weeks out, so it will be a little while before I have any news, but chances are that news will include gender!

I hurt. I'm signing off.


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