Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Who knew being small sucked?

The next person who tells me how small I look is going to hear me scream. Because they don't mean a good small, they mean my belly is too small to be 24 weeks. I had a random woman in a waiting room tell me that today. And she's not the first. Today was the first day I haven't taken it in good humor though. Because it's none of this person's business that my child is measuring fine, above the 50th percentile, heavier than the online averages I've found, he moves like crazy, and my brother and I were both in the 7lb range. My hips are 15 inches apart people! Just how big do you think this baby is gonna get? I am not going to have a 90th percentile baby. It's also no one's business that I've lost twenty pounds and been coping with hyperemesis my entire pregnancy. Yes, thank you, I'm dealing with some weight management issues. Thank you for drawing attention to my small belly, because I haven't already stressed enough over whether I've been able to provide my baby with enough nourishment. I don't compare myself to my friends and worry over whether our size difference means anything is wrong enough already.

Am I worrying myself to death? No. Does the thought cross my mind? Absolutely. And I was very aware that it took me a lot longer to show than my pregnant friends, and I still don't look close to as pregnant as they do in the same weeks. It doesn't help that I am 10 times more likely to keep down pizza than I am a fruit or vegetable. Seriously. Fruits and vegetables make me sick. Figure that one out and I'll give you a prize. I'm serious about that too. But I have a LOT of pregnant friends. And as much as we can try to keep mommy competitiveness down, it creeps out. And I have a lot of big bellies to compare too. For once I would love for someone to comment on my pregnancy without commenting on how small my belly is. Of all the things that I want to be small, my belly is not it. Just because I know that Hunter is fine doesn't mean that I want to be reminded that I'm small. Maybe it's stupid, and like I said, I don't usually care, but it bothered me today. So there it is.

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