Sunday, February 27, 2011


A year ago today I took a pregnancy test. It was positive. I was elated, but nothing I imagined then compared to what it felt to hold Hunter in my arms for the first time. Even the amazement of feeling him move inside me was nothing like I could have imagined. He is the most perfect, beautiful little boy I could ever have hoped for. I love him so much that the word love just doesn't seem special enough to describe it. When I saw those double lines a year ago my excitement was tempered by fear. And now, when I hold him, I know that I am holding the result of years of wishes and prayers. He is the greatest gift God has given me. And finally, finally, the tension in my heart over the babies we lost has started to ease. Because if those pregnancies had not failed then Hunter wouldn't be who he is. There would be a different baby, to be sure, but everything would be different, and I can't wish for him to be any different than he is. He was meant for me. He was meant to be mine. I could not ask for more.


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