11 weeks

So babycenter says that my baby is working on being two inches long this week. Two whole inches! I keep holding my thumb up to my abdomen and thinking, "No way!" How can there possibly be a baby that size in my belly already? How can baby be that big without showing yet? Wowzers!

I got a lot done today (for me). I sorted all the laundry that had been piling up, and managed to get a load done. I loaded and ran the dishwasher. And I was able to go out to Walgreens to get a freezie (my craving recently). On a downer note, my pump isn't working properly. I called the nurse and told her what was going on, but, of course, when I had her on the phone it worked fine. Five minutes later it was doing the same thing, but I haven't called back because, quite frankly, she was very condescending. She acted like what I was telling her couldn't possibly be what was happening, and she was patronizing when she was here earlier today too. She kept commenting on my housekeeping, as if I don't know my house is messy, and as if I have a choice in the matter. I do what I can when I can, and you would think she would have more sympathy for people in rough situations. AND she did a terrible job changing my bandage. I was having an allergic reaction to the tape adhesive and she didn't even go to the trouble of cleaning all of the adhesive off of my arm or off of the PICC line. And she left pieces out of the PICC line bandage. They were there when she took it off, I don't know why she didn't feel the need to replace what was there. It just makes her look sloppy, which is humorous, considering how big a deal she was making over my housekeeping. So I don't exactly feel like calling again. I'm just going to tough it out until Tuesday when Steve will be out. Hopefully I can manage without the pump till then. We'll see how it goes. If I can't, well, I suppose I'll break down and call to get help. What's annoying is I don't even feel like I can make a complaint, because every single time I've called the on-call nurse, it's been this woman. So if I complain, and I need to call them after hours again, I'm most likely stuck with someone who won't like me very much.

My nausea is dying down, for the moment. I'm hoping David will get online soon since I slept through him last night and he didn't get back on when he said he would this morning. I don't know what was up with that, except that NO ONE LEAVES HIM ALONE. He's too good at his job, so everyone relies on him for the answers to their problems. It makes talking to him really annoying, because he's constantly interrupted. Grrr. He says after his promotion he's making a Do Not Disturb sign. I told him that was a good idea, because otherwise I was going to find a way to get violent from a distance.

On a final note, these cats need to stop trying to walk on me. I'm more than willing to pet them, but they aren't happy unless they're crawling all over me, which will lead to me barfing all over them. Get online soon honey!

ER Ultrasound Pics

10 weeks, 1 day, going off of measurements, not dates. Baby Mac likes to jump around.

Not much to see, this ultrasound didn't take pictures of the same quality as the one at my OB's office, apparently.

Here you can see the body, head, and arms. On the screen I could see them a lot better, plus legs. And Baby Mac was moving around a lot, so we got good views of everything, just not great pictures. 

I'm planning on taking the Intelligender test when I get back from Cleveland, and I'll probably schedule an ultrasound for video purposes around the same time, maybe a few weeks later.

Despair

I'm waiting for Sharon to call me back. I'm going to try to get re-admitted to the hospital. Dr. Ripp's nurse called me back, and said that he doesn't feel comfortable prescribing me more than 3 sprays per day. Unfortunately, that's not enough. So I'm going to tell her I'm still unable to eat, and I'm unable to control my pain with home medication. I don't know what the solution is, but this isn't it. I'm unable to take care of myself, I can barely get out of bed, and I'm out of options. If they're going to make me suffer for the good of the baby then I'm doing it in a hospital. Not being able to live at home poses its own problems, but for heaven's sake, I can't even wear clothes the half the time! Now I'm going to pull on some pants and try to stand them long enough to go get my prescription. The prescription that may not even be covered. Wish me luck.

A normal morning

I woke up, went to the bathroom, walked back into the bedroom, and started vomiting. My upper back has started hurting in a weird, throbbing, über-sensitive way. By weird I mean that it's difficult to describe, not that it's any different from the pain I normally experience in my upper back. I took what amounted to 1 1/2 hits of my Stadol (I'm running low) and it seems to be kicking in now. Because of the vomiting I was having esophageal pain that seems to be getting better with the Stadol too. I'm waiting for Dr. Ripp to call me back about changing my prescription, because I use a lot more than one puff a day, and the prescription needs to be written for more so that TriCare will cover it and, with luck, I could get more at one time so that I'm not calling for refills every 4 days. I'm not in as much pain, and I'm less nauseous, but it makes me sleepy. Maybe I'll try to nap before they call me back. It's a shame I have to fight to have the medicine I need though.

Matters of Health

How I feel continues to vary, from feeling almost normal to being in a lot of pain and vomiting. I wasn't able to eat anything until after 8PM, and prior to that I was throwing up even though I'd eaten nothing. With Carrie's help I managed to get the dogs their shots, which will allow me to kennel them while I'm in Cleveland, if necessary. My flight is booked for 2PM on Tuesday. I intend to use all the assistance I can in the airport, because I cannot afford to be sick and in pain while traveling. I can only hope that the trip will be worth it, despite my trepidation over how things will go. At the very least it will be nice to see my grandparents, so it's impossible for the trip to be a total waste. I can only hope that I get a solution out of it. I keep trying to choose high calorie foods when I'm able to eat, but on days like today what I eat really isn't going to matter. And every day has been like to day for a while now. I know, I'm tired of complaining too, but I really don't have much else to talk about. This is what I do all day, try to manage whatever my body decides to throw at me.

I have another OB appointment on Thursday. They're keeping good tabs on me. At this point though, if we don't come up with something before the end of tax season, I'm going to make a case for admitting me back into the hospital. If things haven't improved by then we're going to have to take steps to make sure that I'm receiving nourishment and, in my opinion, I need to be receiving monitored treatment. We'll see what happens. I haven't lost hope that either of the pain doctors I will see next week will be able to help me.

I have to call TriCare tomorrow. They wouldn't pay for my last prescription of Stadol because it was "too soon." Using it at the maximum allowed dosage it lasts about 4.5 days. I should be able to get my refills after that point, so I'm going to be asking to be reimbursed. I also need to call my doctor for a new prescription, as I'm almost out of the bottle I got on Friday. Sad that I use so much? Yes. But there's nothing for it. If the doctors have a problem with that then they need to come up with something else that works better, don't they? I wish I could write more about the baby and the pregnancy, but at this point it's all related, and I am unable to do anything with my day but be sick.

9 weeks, 5 days

Title

I have an appointment with Sharon today at 1330. I'm not scheduled for an ultrasound, I assume I'll get one next week, but I'll never turn them down if I can be fit in. I've lost more weight, which isn't going to make Sharon very happy, but there's nothing I can do about it. I'm also planning on asking her how far along I should consider myself (the other reason I want an u/s) and whether or not special circumstances can be allowed to let me video my ultrasounds.

David and I talked last night, and he said he'd like me to do the Intelligender, just for fun. In the interest of making him feel more attached to a baby he can't see, I'm willing to spend money on things like that and the private ultrasounds. He won't be able to come to my appointments, or feel the baby move, or watch the baby grow in person. I can only send him pictures and videos, and eventually we can webcam. Speaking of pictures, I need to get around to taking one of me now. I don't have a before pic yet, and already it's becoming noticeable to me. And I want a picture of me in my favorite dress and shoes before they have to retire for a little while. Actually, I'll probably pick up some leggings and continue to wear the dress as a long skirt, but it's short now, and will be even shorter when I have a belly on me. Put them with those shoes and my legs look a mile long though, it's fantastic.

I'm going to add a countdown till my second trimester after I go in today. And for the moment, I'm going to look at ultrasound pictures so I can have a better idea of when I should be going in for a video, and whether I want it to be 2D or 3D considering how early it's going to be.